Laaaaaaaaaandaaaaaaaaaaan is full of many magical sites, some you would get in other cities, others possibly not. This is my chance to sit back in a comfy chair, light up up a pipe and reflect on things seen in the last seven days.

1. Gail Porter and her dog that was much too large for her attacked me outside Forbidden Planet.
2. A tramp did perfectly acceptable magic for me outside Wok to Walk in Soho.
3. South Kensington Station has a an exceedingly large population of attractive men (slightly less attractive women, if that’s your thang.)
4.  A man eating chicken whilst standing on the bus, dropped the bones and skin of said chicken on the floor when he was done sucking all the juices out. This still makes me throw up in my mouth a bit.
5. The BFI Southbank is an incredibly confusing and intimidating building, but totes worth it to see Disney on the big screen.

There are few things that leave me speechless, I really REALLY enjoy the sound of my own voice. The first thing to do this in a long time is the noise that comes out of Betty Suarez’s mouth when a normal person would be singing.

I won’t lie, I had high hopes. I have a love for Betty that goes deep into my groin and in my heart of hearts I knew, JUST KNEW, that behind that timid demeanour was a honking great voice ready to belt across the stage. Kind of like Ellen Greene (and if you missed her in Betwixt earlier in the year, you deserve to be stoned.)

I WAS WRONG.

From the moment the lady got on stage, her arms stayed firmly at her side with a random flick of the forearm if she felt a moment needed particular dramatic effect. Then the honking began. She was clearly very nervous, the show had only opened the day before, but that is no excuse to play out the role of Roxy Heart as though you have recently taken a hit to the head from a Manolo Blahnik whilst on a mad cap adventure to save a photo-shoot and in your passed out fantasy you go on a journey of self discovery to overcome your crippling stage fright by playing the role of murdering, media manipulating ROXY. Now breathe.

As for the rest of the cast, well, Darius was …… there. They appear to have hired Skeletor for the role of Velma. I was informed later that she is ‘simply aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmaaaaaaazing’ and is known for playing Velma better than anyone, anyone I ever met. But there are times when you have to throw out those trophies you got at school and move on with your life. Then there were the dancers, the beautiful beautiful dancers. If you can look at them without wanting to self harm then you are better than I.

So what I learned from this experience was…… well very little. Chicago is still an aces musical and even though Betty was a bit shoddy it was still an enjoyable romp. However just get some last minute tickets, if you pay full price then you are a fool.

Wowsers,

What a lovely coat you’re wearing, where ever did you get it?

Oh really? I love it there too.

Thanks for dropping by, are you here to learn about London? Well let me tell you, this is not the right place to be. Honestly you really should move along.

I have no idea what I’m doing here. Getting lost pretty much takes up all my time. Ocasionaly I stumble into theatres and other places with bright entrances just in the hope of finding food. Then I write my thoughts down, mainly so I can remember what happened the next day, because I enjoy me some alcohol and crack on an evening.

So if you like rambles, lost people and crack come back and see me again soon when I have more to chat about.

Toodles

David.